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Why some long term marriages lead to divorce


As we have noted in some of our prior posts, the decision to announce your divorce to family and friends may be a difficult one, partly because of all the questions that will come about. The questions can be especially difficult to manage if you have been married for a long time. Like many celebrity couples who have long marriages (e.g. Al and Tipper Gore, Chris Rock and Malaak Compton-Rock, Nicholas and Cathy Sparks) people may be bewildered about why you are splitting up after spending so much of your lives together.

A recent article put these realities in perspective. We will highlight the potential reasons for divorce after long term marriages here. 

When people get married, especially when they are young and have yet to establish themselves, they are much more willing to sacrifice for the greater good of the relationship. This may mean that they be willing to move to a new city to support their spouse; they may be willing to stay at home and raise children and may even look past other imperfections (such as how messy they may be).

Over time, a person’s interests may change, and they may want to shed the role of “home caretaker” or “babysitter” and may want different things in life. Also, those quirks that were adorable in the beginning may be insufferable. These feelings may spark resentment. Further, people with these feelings may not be so willing to compromise as they once were.

While this may seem like a death knell to a marriage, you would be surprised with how many people experience these feelings. The question is whether you are willing to work through them.

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