Part of the emotional trauma that comes with divorce involves telling the children that mommy and daddy are going their separate ways. To kids (especially younger kids) this can be quite a shock to their world. After all, parents are likely to be a pillar of their well-being, and the thought of one parent not being around can be disappointing. Also, kids may be unnerved if they have to move or endure other changes that they may not be ready for.
Because of these and other issues, it is important to answer children’s questions when they ask about divorce. This post will provide some helpful tips.
Tell the kids together – While this may not be a question, it pays to tell the kids to rumor and innuendo ruined your relationship, just consider how it may ruin relationships with your children if you allowed them to find out about it from a third party. Having a secret meeting with mom or dad to learn about it may break a child’s confidence in you.
Can’t you just say sorry? – We teach kids that saying sorry is the right thing to do to resolve conflict. So it is no wonder that kids wonder why their parents can’t just say sorry and makeup. In these situations, it is okay to explain what you’re going through, and why you and the other parent don’t need to be married in order to be there for the kids or to love them.
Does daddy (or mommy) still love me? – Kids have an amazing, yet unfortunate knack for blaming themselves for the demise of their parents’ relationship. Because of this, parents have to reiterate that the divorce had nothing to do with the kids and that they are loved.